The Diary of a Mad Woman

I am shaking I am so pissed off right now.

My only words to him were:  "Hand me my pillow and blanket".  His response: "Why?".  Me:  "Because I don't want to sleep with someone who talks to their ex-fiance."

I don't know, how would you have handled it?

I am fucking pissed.

Alright, here is how everything went down.  I asked him for his Facebook password so I would see the message from his Aunt regarding a "family reunion" we are attending on Sunday (they sent the details to him, and not to me....surprise, surprise (even after I requested the information be sent to me!)).  He offered up his fucked up password, and I logged into his account.

I do not ordinarily go through his personal shit (well, I did in the beginning of our relationship....but, he was being really shady), and this time was no exception.  I simply clicked on his messages and looked for the one from his Aunt.  But, guess what I found instead?  The first message in his inbox was from his ex, Amanda.  (Btw, I fucking hate that name....sorry if you are named Amanda and are reading this.  No offense to you, but this particular Amanda ruined the name for me.)

Now, I do have to say that the messages themselves were pretty harmless.  However, a couple things are bothering me.  One) Why didn't he tell me he decided to contact her?  Two) Why have a back and forth conversation throughout the day, while at work, but he can't answer me when I call him?  Three) What's with the "flirtatious" tone to his messages?

God, I feel like I am going to puke.

Shortly after I asked him for my pillow and blanket he came out into the living room and said that he needed to send her a message for "closure".  Shouldn't he have "closed" the "situation" before we got married?  Yeah, I think so.

I have an ex who tries to get in touch with me, from time to time.  And do you know something?  The first thing I do after I receive the text/e-mail/whatever is call Zach.  I ALWAYS let him know about anything I think might be "bad" for our relationship.  I want to be open and honest.  Apparently, he does not.  These "conversations" with my ex are nothing.  We ask how each other is doing, and about our families.  Then he says "he misses me", and I say I am happy in my marriage and do not want to have that type of relationship with him.  Then it's over....for at least a couple of months.

Anyway, I just received a text message from him (yes, he is just in the other room) saying that "he wants to talk".  I don't know what I have to say.  I think that I have been more than forgiving with him and "Amanda", and I am not sure if I can do it again.

Thanks for listening.

Sorry if there are any spelling/grammatical errors.  I am too upset to check over everything.  Maybe I will tomorrow....but for now you will just have to "read between the lines".  And I also apologize for the profanity.  I don't normally swear, well....except when I am upset.  Obviously.