Can't Do Anything Right.....

I feel like I have disappointed my father.  We almost walked out of our family dinner Sunday night because I was seconds away from losing it.  He criticizes EVERYTHING, I feel as if I can do nothing right.  And you know, one of the biggest fear of a daughter is disappointing her father.  The list of things he doesn't like is extensive:

The food I feed my children is no good.  

I shouldn't encourage my son to be polite, because he doesn't have to say please and thank you at Grandpa's house.  

I have so much money, that I obviously don't know what to do with it.  Because he views some of the items I purchase as frivolous.

I should lose weight, because I really don't have arthritis....I am just fat.  

I am not complying with our "payment" for the camera.  Even though he has never asked me how it was going, he just accuses.

I don't appropriately discipline my children. 

I call things by names he doesn't approve of.

I can not recall a time when my father has said, verbally, that he was proud....or that I did something right.  He has said some of these things in cards, however I need to hear it in person.

Dad, if you are reading this.  I am sorry I seem to disappoint you.  But, please don't take this the wrong way.  This is my journal.  This is how I get my feelings out.  This is my outlet.   Maybe one day you will understand why I am doing certain things.  Maybe one day you will realize that whenever I have wanted your opinion, I have asked for it, so you don't have to offer it up so freely.  I love you, but we are not communicating effectively....and it hurts me.  It hurts everyone.