Monday, February 21, 2011

It Scares Me, It Really Does

Today has been a very emotional day for me.

Earlier I mentioned I had my annual appointment this morning, and while I was there....my midwife discovered a lump in my left breast during my breast exam.

The first thing that ran through my mind was

CANCER.

I know, why did I automatically jump to that conclusion....when it is probably nothing, which is the phrase my midwife kept repeating?  My grandmother died of breast cancer before she hit the "ripe old age" of 50.  Yes, young.

I honestly can say, I never thought I would experience this at 24 years old.  I did think, however, I would get breast cancer, ever since I was 10ish years old.  I just thought I would beat it to the punch and have a double mastectomy before the cancer reared its ugly head.....complete with cute fake boobs.  Lol.

I am trying not to worry, but that is easier said than done.  I should be getting a phone call within the next 24 hours to schedule a mammogram and ultrasound to figure out what exactly is going on.  And, based on those results we will proceed from there.

I decided earlier that I am not too afraid of the cancer itself, because I firmly believe I can beat it.....however, I am afraid of missing everything I will miss in my children's lives.  But, on the bright-side....they are too young to remember their Mom going through treatments.

Take this as a warning all you Mom's who do not do your monthly home breast exams.  DO IT!  Something can occur at any age, and the sooner you catch something the better.

In other disappointing news, a couple of my day care kids have decided to go with someone else....which I completely and totally understand, and would do the same thing in their situation, but it still sucks.  Jack and Ady LOVE playing with them, and I will miss hanging out with those sweet little girls.  We will definitely have to get together for play-dates though.  :)

I hope you had a better day than I, on a bright note.....I got some REALLY great deals at Target this afternoon.

How are you?

3 comments:

  1. Oh Jennifer! I'm so sorry you've had a scare like that! I will be praying for you and hoping it's just a plain, old, boring, benign cyst!!!:)

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  2. I can totally relate to how you feel right now as I await results on a lump in my wrist. I do breast exams all the time, so was not prepared for a lump somewhere else! My brain keeps screaming "CANCER" at me, too.

    Be strong - hopefully it will all be nothing!

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  3. Dont let yourself worry too much. The chance of it being something is small. Plus, There have been a ton of advances in breast cancer treatment since your grandmas day. I know it can be a scary thing as I just went through a mole removal and skin cancer runs in my family. It was not cancer though. Keep us posted. I will pray for you.

    ReplyDelete

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