You Grow A Little More Every Day

Friday night, I was done.  It was a hard day.  The kiddos were CRAZY!

Well, I don't want to blame it all on the kiddos.  I was up most of the night was Ady.  I was exhausted.  And....I would guess, so was Ady.

Anyway, after Zach got home I went on a little drive.  I needed it.  I drove to a nearby town and picked up some soda to feed my brother's caffeine addiction.  And don't worry, he gave me money for his soda.  I didn't spend a dime.

While I was on my drive someone called in to the Delilah show.  This woman was saying how thankful she was that her husband "chose her" over the most recent ex-girl friend.

I TOTALLY related to this feeling.  Delilah, however, asked her why she felt like he chose her.  Why didn't she look at their relationship as "meant to be", and not a choice as to which person was better?

Again, this struck me.

My husband was engaged to another woman prior to us meeting, about 6 months before we started dating their relationship ended.  He did continue to have a "internet" relationship with her for a while, and it bothered me.  A lot.

I couldn't understand why Zach would want to be friends with someone who hurt him so badly. It hurt me.  I felt as if he was still wanting to be with her.  He still wanted to live out his life he had planned out with her.  About 6 months into our relationship, we had a discussion on his relationship with her and I expressed how unhappy I was with his relationship.  When all was said and done, I asked him to choose.  Which one, me or her?

He obviously, ultimately chose me.  However he still, occasionally, speaks to her.  It has really bothered me in the past, to the point of feeling like I was "emotionally" cheated on.  (Mostly because he tries so hard to hide it.)

I am going to try and think of it as he didn't chose me, we were "meant to be".  Everything happens for a reason.  We have a beautiful family together, and will do whatever it takes to stay together forever.

What realizations have you had in your marriage recently?  Did you ever think marriage was so much work?  I know I sure didn't.