Not really, I am always in need of good relationship advice. :)
Last night I was upset and hurt. I vented to a very dear friend of mine, and she is so sweet!
I realized that it is going to take me a long time to forget the past, especially when promises made are not being kept.
I explained to my husband what was going through my mind, and I asked him how he felt our relationship was. He told me a couple of things that have been bothering him, and we talked late into the night.....which means I am extra tired today because the kids woke up at the crack of dawn. :(
Anyway, the point of this post is: check in with your husband (or wife, but I am afraid most of my readers are women). Ask him what is wrong.....explain the issues that are bothering you. Believe me, it is better to deal with them before you have a million "problems" to share with your spouse.
A couple months ago I heard this wise piece of advice, from an unlikely source. The Teenager has told me something in confidence, and we went to talk about it later. The only "problem" was that Z was in the room....so, The Teenager asked me if I had told him. I tried to avoid the question, but then The Teenager said these words: "I expected you too, that's what married people do. Share all their secrets."
So, if you have a secret or have this problem you need to share with your husband....just do it. It is what married people do.
What a wise young teenager.
Good advice! I know I was told once to ask my husband each morning "what can I do for you today that would help you?" .......I wish I could say that I do this. (or maybe have EVER done this) I usually hit the ground running and am in "survival" mode so adding something else is NOT on my mind.
ReplyDeleteYeah..not gonna win me wife of the year I'm sure.
But that is my goal this year...to say "What can I do for you today that would help you?" - we shall see :)
Now the idea of asking "what is WRONG with our relationship" this is the first time I've heard that one :) - Good point! I'd have to be totally calm to ask that one :) lol....NOT a good question on a "hormonal" day :)
Thanks for sharing :)
Michelle
good advice.
ReplyDeletehttp://amyfashionblog52.blogspot.com/
If I don't have a few minutes each night to talk with my husband about whatever is on my mind, my day is not complete. It really is crucial to spend time together and connect, especially because when the kids are grown up and move out, you'll have to know how to talk to each other...he's all you'll have :)
ReplyDeleteI like that idea of asking what he needs each day but my husband would say nothing. I need to know what would make his day better and do that. I really should! That's what Dr. Phil does for his wife. Smart man! Challenging trying to think of things to do. Make him lunch, coffee, kiss him hello and good-bye, maybe stuff you would like him to do for you. He might return the favor if you do it long enough. Just a thought.
ReplyDeleteLove this, it's so true. Also, I always try to remember that every relationship is different. Sometimes a friend vents about a minor issue that, to me, seems huge. But it's not my relationship! So (as long as she's safe) it's ok for HER relationship. Ok, but you know all that already...:)
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